Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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