Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
