We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
