i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
