I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
