just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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