u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
