I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
