please come you make the beer taste better
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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