remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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