if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
