Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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