did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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