I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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