im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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