why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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