I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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