This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
