Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
