So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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