and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
