Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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