They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
