this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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