I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
