i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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