did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
