Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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