Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
