Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wear drunk well.
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