no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
