your room smells of hookers.
And success
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
