I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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