mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
