The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
