white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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