I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
