Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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