i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
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