eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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