Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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