He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
