You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
