Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
