I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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