I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
