We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
