Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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