Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
