honey bunches of taint.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
