Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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