mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize