i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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