Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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