What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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