I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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