yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize